Not as prepared as I thought

12:53 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Am I one of those survivalist nut jobs? Maybe a little. I like the idea of being prepared for anything. I squirrel away food and supplies. I thought I had done a really good job and that we had the minimum required to last a year. Not according to the LDS recommendations. We don't have room for all the food I have stored now, it's seriously spilling into our living space but if we actually had the LDS recommendations, we might as well sleep on bags of flour and beans, lol.

Here, check out this link and see how you measure up.

The Birth Story of Warren Miller Messick

8:37 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
This baby was a completely planned unassisted pregnancy and birth. We had one ultrasound to see that the baby had all it's parts and the placenta was where it should be. We saw a midwife once to establish care in case of a hospital transfer. I have put plenty of research into birth, enough to know that birth is part of life, it should be safe in most cases and it is not a medical condition that needs managing. Childbirth is a natural function of the body, every mammal does it with little complication most of the time as long as not interfered with. I realize that there are some cases where nature needs a little help for the best outcome to both Mother and Baby but a midwife in my home wouldn't make a difference in my situation, if there was something wrong and an emergency, I'm just as capable of calling 9-1-1 as any midwife, more so since I know where I keep my phone. I'm not ignorant of potential complications, I studied all possible out comes and scenarios and learned what to do in all cases and when to call for help. It's not sheer luck as some seem to make it sound that the end result of unassisted pregnancy and birth is a healthy baby. In every birth, including with and OB or midwife, the mother is the only one truly responsible for her care and it is her responsibility to be informed in all aspects of her pregnancy and birth. A good friend of mine likes to say "Birth is as safe as life gets"

Doug's job in the birth aside from running around getting everything I call out to him, which he pulled off beautifully I might add, is to make sure the baby doesn't hit the floor too hard, lol. No seriously, I guided the baby out to his hands, he untangled him then passed him up while I was still on my hands and knees. Pretty easy really. We get comments that Doug must be becoming a pro at this and Wow Doug must be good at delivering babies and at first it offended me, now it cracks me up that people think that it's Doug doing the work of delivering the baby. I can't imagine what must be going through their heads to get that idea. Actually, after being at four different hospital births I guess maybe I can and the births of my children might be the un-comprehendible ones. I labor, I feel my pelvis expanding and my body start to push, get on my hands an knees and guide the head coming out, a minute later the body follows. Feeling Doug's hands on mine as he helps me catch the baby's body coming out is pretty magical though.

On to the actual birth story.
I fell asleep around 4 or 4:30 am while watching Scrubs on my computer. I woke up to use the potty at 5:25 and my back was sore, it has been for sometime but my pelvis was sore too so I figure I must have been laying wrong or with poorly positioned pillows so went back to bed and tried to go to sleep again. I woke up about ten minutes later and thought the pelvic pain was too irritating so I would watch the last 15 minutes of Scrubs I fell asleep for. Around now Dallas woke up from a bad dream and Doug had to get in bed with him, I told Doug to come back as soon as he got him back to sleep because I thought I would need him, I wanted him to rub my back. He fell asleep too so I left him alone. At 6:15 I woke him up and told him I needed him to run me a bath because I had an intense contraction and thought it wouldn't be long now. I had been saying that labor lasted about an hour, but I really didn't feel any contractions until this point, I was just awake with a back ache and that really wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I now conclude that my labor was really only 28 minutes.

We went downstairs, Doug rinsed and filled the bathtub, I sang a couple songs on my iPod and tried to sing low, think of relaxing my toes, (who can be tense with relaxed toes?) keep my jaw from clenching and thinking open, open, open. There was only one contraction that got too intense for me, I had wanted to get in the tub but Doug was in the way and I snapped at him for it, he was trying to move but couldn't decide which way to go and it was too late and I was stuck for a minute. I got in the tub and labored there for a little while, again snapped at Doug while he was brushing his teeth. I had grunted and he turned to watch me with excitement, I felt like a spectacle and lost focus. He had just set up the video camera and had been narrating behind me and I found that quite irritating, I tried to appoligize for snapping but I don't really know if it came out right. I think he understood. I hate the idea that I might have ever been mean while in labor. I did feel most of the labor in my back. It wasn't very pleasurable.

There came a point, not too long after I got into the tub that I couldn't get comfortable. Doug had left the room and I yelled to him that I needed a bucket because I thought I might puke. He went to get one but the feeling passed and I am happy to say I made it through another pregnancy without throwing up once. I hate throwing up. I threw up during transition with Robin but it was the only time in all three births. I have had many close calls, and several heavings, and with this one a few times when bile came up into my mouth from a well placed kick but no actual vomit!!

One contraction later I jumped out of the tub onto the floor where Doug had laid out two perfectly clean and matching towels (it's the details, and he knows I care) in anticipation of the birth, knowing it was time from my need for a bucket. As I was jumping from the tub to the floor, I knew I was in transition for sure because I exclaimed I hope there isn't something wrong! I could feel the baby's head coming but it didn't feel easy like Dallas' did. Doug is great and knows well not to touch me while I labor. He was going to go get Robin for the crowning and birth but I was positioned on the floor in such a way that he couldn't leave the bathroom without bumping me so he just stayed put.

I actually had to push a little with this one, the contractions were right on top of each other and I knew it was time to get that head down and I gave a little push and then gave a big push. My bag of waters exploded. I asked Doug to check if he could see any cord hanging out, he said no. Cord prolapse is really my only concern but at that point the most prudent thing to do, had there been a cord was push like hell since the head was already coming. After that push I could feel how huge his head felt and then tried hard NOT to push I knew I needed a minute to stretch. It was apparent to Doug, I couldn't see, why I was having some difficulty and needed to push with this one where I didn't with Dallas (aside from his head being three quarters of an inch larger) He was almost a face presentation, his forehead came first. He didn't have any molding to him at all. This could also be why my bones still ache a little. The pressure was up front, not so much in the back like with my other two so I added support where I could feel I needed it and tried to breath through it as not to tear. It's the strangest feeling having the head almost out and feeling hands and feet kicking and hitting inside of you. A moment came where I felt I had to finish the job, gave another push, out came his head, I felt a head, a cord and Doug's hands on mine and ran out of strength. His head wasn't trying to suck back in though so I knew he wasn't stuck, I just needed a second to get my baring again, then I pushed and out popped his body and Doug passed him up to me. He was born at 6:43 am.

Doug checked and it was in fact a boy and Doug went to get Robin right away. Robin didn't seem upset that he missed the birth, I told him he came really fast and we have the video for him to see and he seemed happy with that. He still wanted to be able to cut the cord. I squatted on the floor for a minute but the bath sounded nicer so I stood up and climbed back in. Robin wanted to be a good helper and got me drinks and I let him pour water on the baby and me to keep us warm. After the placenta came in the tub, we used the bucket for it and climbed out to go sit in my chair. The cord was short, much shorter than either Robin or Dallas. Dallas' cord was crazy long though, over a yard actually. This babies more like 18 inches. Robin's was in between, not long or short.

Dallas didn't want to wake up so slept in for another hour while Doug cooked pancakes at my request. Dallas then woke up and everyone was fed while the cord cutting supplies were boiled. I bought these neat cord bands to use. They are extremely unobtrusive for breastfeeding and I highly recommend them over cord clamps. The tool to put on the bands costs $90 but it wasn't hard to do with two curved tipped hemostats instead for a total cost of around $40 for the scissors, two straight hemostats, two curved hemostats and a pack of 150 bands (the smallest pack they sold). I also bought a stethoscope for infants, and a tape measure for the head and chest. It was easy to line up since it had slots to come back on it's self. His head is 14.75 inches, and his chest 15 inches. He is 21 inches long, the same as all the boys have been.

I didn't tear at all that I know of and feel great. I can potty without any pain, woo hoo! I don't have any swelling. The only thing that really aches is my tail bone and well my back is still sore. I had Doug help bind my belly and that feels good. I don't have that empty belly, guts falling out feeling this time. I'm starving though, and so thirsty. You wouldn't think I expended that much energy on under 30 minutes of labor but my stomach seems to think otherwise. Doug says it's because I can finally fit food in.

He's a great nurser, very eager and has a nice big latch but boy is this kid hungry! Dallas is most excited about the babies feet. He lifted the blanket and found his feet and said "kick, kick!" then pointed to my belly. He was telling me he understood that this was the baby who was kicking in me, and was now out. He keeps popping over to sign and tell me baby. Robin just wants to hold him and touch him. He's so excited. He kept telling me all morning, I'm so glad he came out good Mama, I'm so glad for him."

He notices everything

1:31 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Robin woke up this morning and came to wake me up. He said he was hungry so we went downstairs to have breakfast and let Dallas sleep a little longer. We have 5 indoor cats. Doug took the two boys to get fixed this morning. Usually the cats hide and sleep in the morning, at least I thought they do. No sooner do we make it downstairs he says to me "Mama, where are all the cats?" I said "They must be sleeping." He says "No, they aren't here. Where did they go?" He has doctor phobia pretty badly but I had to tell him where they were, clearly our little psychic knew the house was lacking a couple bodies. He says to me, "Gamma needs to get fixed but Goldar is good and we don't need him fixed, he's not broken!" and he starts to cry. Well I couldn't figure out a good way to explain exactly what getting a cat fixed was but I told him that Gamma needed his brother to go with him so he wouldn't be scared at the doctors and that Papa was bringing them back home tonight. He calmed down and seemed to except this. I don't know what I will tell him when it's Silver's turn to be spayed. I decided to wait on her until the boys are calmed down since it's a major surgery for a female cat and pretty minor for a male. She will go alone and he will probably cry again. Silver has been beside herself bored today. She always plays with the kids, but has her brothers to play too. The kids are getting tired of being pounced upon by her poor thing she's so lonely. I can't imagine not having all three of them, they love the kids so much and are such a part of our day, it is lonely with out the boys here. They will be back tonight and they will be ok.

Nothing new

9:12 AM Edit This
Yep , that sums it up. Nothing new.


2:34 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Doug is snoring so loud the house is shaking. I hate that. It means the kids will wake up either grumpy or late and I won't get much sleep because when I finally do get to go to bed, I will spend all night telling him to roll over. If I take away the pillow he will mostly stop but then he wakes up and bitches at me and that's almost worse. I have bought all these things to try to stop the snoring, with his wakeful consent too but he won't use them. I have this snore clip that works by magnets and sticking in his nose, man that thing works awesome. He complains that it's too tight, well the rest of us can sleep, are you sure hurts worse than a foot in the back dear? I just got this snore spray to try and have asked him to please put it somewhere convenient for him since my getting up to get it in the middle of the night is very unreasonable as we have already established with the hip pain. It's STILL here on the table. There are exercises to try before sleeping that are suppose to help but that would break his routine. Honestly sitting her listening to this, I understand why some married couples sleep in separate rooms. I always though that would be the beginning of the end so to speak but what if it's really preventing the end by giving the non-snoring party a little sanity. It has gotten so much worse in the last couple years, I don't know what to do.

Ok lets meet this baby already!!

12:40 AM Edit This
I feel like I'm absolutely going to burst. Really, no kidding. I don't remember feeling so huge before although the pictures tell it otherwise. I really can't wait to meet baby, I also cant wait for my belly to stop hurting. I went to the Chiropractor yesterday and that helped with my back pain. I wish I could go every day. My hips felt so much better when I left but after sleeping on them again, how can I not, they hurt again. I did sleep the longest stretch I have in weeks, about 4 hrs without waking. So long that when I woke up and baby didn't I started to worry and had to get the doppler and wake the little baby up. Heartbeat was fine, I was just worrying for no reason.

I keep hoping to get that infamous burst of nesting urge. I have not had it yet, and did not with Robin or Dallas either. I keep working my ass off at night to make up for what didn't get done during the day like the dishes or cleaning up the toys. It feels so futile at times. If any project gets worked on at all, the regular stuff doesn't get done. I can't pick up all the slack, but Robin said Papa was working so I guess if he has to work on the weekend then I need to be the one to wash the dishes. Did I mention that I can't really reach the sink too well? I hate washing the dishes right now, but I feel strongly that in case of emergency, I would feel better knowing that it didn't look like EVERYTHING was neglected here.

I have been wanting to sew for sooo long but can't seem to get the table cleaned off. This sucks. Maybe the baby is just going to be waiting for me to finish the new carrier an if I could only find the table to do it, baby would come already. I know, I know not even my due date yet but I can't help but feel in a hurry this time for some reason.

It occurred to me today while chatting with my sister online, I had not spoken to her until recently, that my family is rooting for baby to be a girl. She referred to the baby as "she". My grandmother has told me she prefers girls, my mother has referred to the baby as "our little girl" (which cracks me up since she doesn't have time for my little boys so why would she would lay claim to any child of mine.) Uncle Fred thinks it's a girl but I don't think he really cares too much either way, he's a rather jovial fellow and was just making a guess. Why do people care? This baby shouldn't be a disappointment for anyone either way. If it's a girl we will still keep having children, if it's a boy we will still keep having children. I don't care what anyone else thinks we should be having. It sucks that it matters but I think I have written about it before, apparently it does to some people. The thing is, the people it seems to matter to most are barely around so it really doesn't matter does it.

Dinner and birth talk

11:38 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
We go eat at this Chinese restaurant on a fairy regular basis and the waiter/owner (I think), he asked when baby was due, we told him and then he tells us that his sister has had two babies but she is small and the babies were big so she scheduled C-sections. Now it was really the swooping hand gesture under his mid section that made me come back with "I birth at home." It wasn't information that needed to be shared yet it really just popped out. He looked shocked. Either he had never heard of such a thing or I don't know what! He did admit that he watches a lot of birth shows on TV and said a lot can go wrong. I assured him that both my kids had been birthed at home and we are all well. He asked "Why would you not go to a hospital to have your baby?" My answer: "First, I don't really like doctors much, (that should have been my second reason but that's how it came out) and second, I feel that birth is more of a bodily function that we are meant to do rather than a medical situation. (truly my first reason but again, thats not how it came out.) Now at this point he is stunned speechless. He finally said make sure you have someone with you like this guy pointing to Doug whom only nodded.

The dinner conversation before this point had been perhaps non-conventional and the couple across from us didn't appear that they could take too much more. When I said birth was a bodily function the woman actually choked. It was really hard not to laugh. Previous I was telling Doug how this morning before Robin went down stairs, he climbed into bed with me to cuddle (Yeah for those glowing bears, still going strong with sleeping on their own!!) Robin told me that he really wanted to help the baby get born and we didn't need any friend to come over. He said that he would cut the placenta. I asked if he meant the cord and he said with a very stern and straight face "That is exactly what I meant to say Mama, I will help you and cut the cord so we can all cuddle and hold the baby." I don't remember this part being covered on any birth video we had watched and we don't watch the birth scare tv shows either. I wonder if he remembers the cutting of Dallas' cord when he himself was only 2 yrs old. Anyway, I thought it was a strange request but we will see. I usually do that part myself.

He is so excited every day he comes up to me and says you know what Mama? There's a baby in your belly, or did you know there's a baby in your belly? Or sometimes he will ask me, where's the baby? An I will point down and he will say oh, just checking. We were using the doppler one day, we don't use it often so it's a big deal. Dallas was sitting on the side of the chair I was on and the baby kicked and everyone saw it. Since then, he loves to come and pull my shirt up and demonstrate to me where he saw the baby kick and he kicks the air while poking my belly in the same spot. He has been kicked before but I think it was just so visible that for some reason that time really stuck with him. I don't think Dallas will be as excited as Robin when the baby comes. He does however have baby fever. Everything is a baby and he stuffs them down his shirt an will sometimes even nurse his dolls and animals. I have a feeling I'm going to need to make a couple little baby slings for these two.