A child talking in his sleep...

8:25 AM Edit This
Robin says out loud suddenly from a deep sleep with eyes still shut "Happy Winter!!" in the brightest cheeriest voice a 3yr old could muster. Yes, I think it's going to be a good day!

This baby is dancing a jig!

1:45 AM Edit This
I just made some coco and have drank half a cup and this baby is going crazy! This kid is dancing a jig, I think it likes it. It's home made:

160z Vanilla Rice Milk
2 tsp Rapunzel Baking Cocoa
about three pinches Guar Gum (to thicken the rice milk)
2 tsp of Agave Nectar (roughly)

Stir it together and simmer on the stove. When it is heated I fill a mug 3/4 full and then add cold rice milk so that it is drinkable right away. It's tasty for sure!

In other funny things, the cats keep stealing the kids balloons at night. The three kittens, whom are not so little anymore but may forever be referred to as the kittens, have learned where to bite the balloons on the stem so that they won't pop and can be carried around. They will turn the balloons with their paws, claws retracted, until they get the end then carry it away, usually to under the sink where the litter boxes are kept. The poor kids never know where their balloons have gone, but we keep a bag of them handy for replacements. Balloons are defiantly on my list of favorite things and so I keep them stocked. When I was a kid I said I would always have balloons in my house, balloons and cats. I didn't know that would work out so well together. When I got older I vowed to always stock bubble wrap too, I bought the kids a 100ft roll for Christmas off ebay, it was maybe $15 after shipping. Dallas and I have popped several feet together already and I can imagine we will keep buying it as we run out since it is good fun.

I have had to get over the fact that not everything I do will be eco friendly, I love balloons and bubble wrap. To trade off for that blemish in my world footprint, I only use eco safe soaps, cloth diapers and "green" toilet paper. I always bring a bag to the store and if I forget them in the car, I will use the cart to get my stuff out and bag in myself when I get to the van. We use cloth towels instead of paper, recycle to the fullest extent of our ability and even use biodegradable kitty litter rather than clay. It's ok but there is something to be said for clumping cat litter. We even recycle disposable plastic or corn utensils if we have to use them. They do clean up in the dishwasher just fine. I don't buy water bottles because I use a stainless steel one that I fill at home. The toilet paper was the hardest switch for me. I really loved my Charmin. I think I'm doing ok. I put a lot of thought and effort into green living and I have decided to still keep balloons and bubble wrap. I'll just make one less trip to town to trade off my petroleum quota, ok? Jeez, I might think about this too much.

Christmas day - A winter wonderland

7:26 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »

It's beyond my control and I can't take it!

6:43 PM Edit This
I feel like Christmas has been ruined, at least my giving portion of it. Back in August I purchased through a co-op a large number of Stainless Steel water bottles, Klean Kanteens to be exact, as Christmas gifts. Who knew that doing your Christmas shopping in the middle of Summer, directly from the manufacturer, would mean that you would be gift-less come holiday time. So far I will have 6 extra bottles on my hands, could end up with as many as 12. Who needs that many, especially when I already purchased plenty of extras for ourselves.

I bought Doug's gifts through Amazon. They are all suppose to be here by now. I don't think they are going to make it, they didn't make it today anyway and I'm trying not to be too hopeful for tomorrow. I just read the winter storm warning on Weather.com for our area and it looks like nothing more will be coming until next week at this rate. I really shouldn't mind, it's the season for giving and for us, it's not about one particular day with the exception that it sure would be nice if everyone was able to open their gifts one the same day. Maybe we can draw it out so we still can open everything when Doug's stuff gets here. I'm really impatient though and waiting for the 25th is hard enough.

Life is tiring but good all the same

2:39 AM Edit This
So Dallas woke up again in the middle of the night (1:30) because he fell asleep before we got home for dinner. He cried and cried and Doug slept through it. I had hoped Doug would wake up and carry him down stairs for me as it's hard for me to make it up and back down all by myself right now. I brought him down, changed his diaper and then sat down with him. He just wanted me to hold him for the longest time. We watched the cats play. We read some web blogs. We had a snack. He's coloring right now. How blessed I am to get this one on one time with him right now while he is still the baby. He gets my full attention, if only for a couple of hours. I'm so tired. I had hoped to go to bed by now. He's wide awake and ready to go. He doesn't want to sleep now so for another hour or two, I will keep trying to meet his needs and keep him company. I tell both Robin and Dallas all the time, they will always be my babies. Robin gets it, I hope Dallas does too.

Yule Tide Bears

2:57 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
We celebrate Yule at our house. Yule for us is the time to look forward to the new year and prepare and plan for the next season. It's when we think about our goals for next years garden. We also plan for next years animals for the farm. It's a good time to plan as the days grow lighter. The solstice is the longest night of the year. To celebrate and welcome back the light we give gifts of lights and musical instruments and have a feast for our family.

This year our lights came in the form of 24" GloE Panda bears. The kids have other GloE bears and love them. They have the 12" dog and monkey for the car and the 16" teddy bears for bed. I know what your thinking, this should be enough. I bought the bears/animals we already owned on Amazon and had the good fortune to fine one of the 16" bears at Value Village for a couple bucks. They use them every night and every time we get in the car.

We were shopping for some groceries at Fred Meyer last night and while walking by a checkout register I noticed someone buying up a stack of colorful boxes that caught my eye. I stopped to see what it was, it's notable when someone is buying 6 of the same huge box. They were all 24" GloeE bears and they were only $20. We went to the toy isle next.

We don't normally shop at "regular" stores for our toys. After being part of the advertising world, Doug and I both feel very strongly against character items, very strongly. (more on that later) In addition, we want our kids to have more open ended toys where imagination it the key not batteries or instructions. Most toys at Fred Meyer and Toys R Us are limiting in this.

Back to the point, we found the bears we were seeking and promptly bought 3 of them. One for each of the boys and one for my niece. She is 10 and an only child. After getting home I realized she might be too mature for a stuffed light up bear so we might end up keeping it for the baby. I sent and email to my sister to ask what she though so we will see.

When we got home last night we decided to give the boy the bears before bed time. They were so excited to see them. They are huge compared to the kids. Dallas' bear is almost the same size as him and Robin really isn't that much taller. Doug got the kids ready and in bed while I detached the bears from their boxes, they were not easy to get out. Who plans this stuff, how many attachements to the cardboard insert do they really need to stay put? 14 seems excessive to me. Anyway I took them up stair to the boys waiting at the gate and passed them over. They hugged them and kissed them and crawled into their beds.

These things really light up the room. They are a little different from the 16" bears, the smaller ones have different light shows to choose from and only stay on 15 minutes at a time. The larger Pandas stay on for 30 minutes and only rotate through one rainbow light show. They are much brighter too. Perhaps they have more LEDs in them, I don't know. The kids usually wake up in the early morning and crawl into bed with us, or me if Doug has gone to work already. Last night Dallas woke up as usual, needing a diaper change and Robin woke up from Dallas crying so loud. After his change the kids turned out their bears and stayed in their beds. They stayed in their bed! All night long!

Now this could be a fluke, I'm not holding my breath here but I do have hope. I have been worried about how to fit 5 people in one bed after the baby comes. Doug and the boys are all three bed hogs and I have to fight to stay on the bed without being mauled. Doug steals any and all blankets and tries to roll to the center all night. Robin and Dallas used to sleep one on each side but for the past 7 months I have been making them sleep on the same side so that they could get used to it before the baby came. When they are in my bed they fight in their sleep over who gets to be closest to me and often end up sleeping sideways to they can both have their heads on me. These bears have given me great hope that I might get some sleep for the last few weeks before the new baby comes. Maybe I will be able to nurse my baby in my bed without having to fend off sleepy heads from trying to butte the baby out of the way like they do each other. I can't wait for the morning cuddles of three little bundles of love though. Cuddles are the best!

Blizzard Update

10:36 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
The power went out briefly while we were sleeping but came back on before we woke. If we have downed trees, I can't see them from the house. Finding them in the woods on the spring is quite a great treasure hunt. Doug did not realize I had unplugged the washing machine and became quite worried when he couldn't get it to turn on. I was awake to help him out so the panic didn't last long. All in all, we all stayed warm enough and all is well here. Wishing every one a happy Yule!

Snow flurries or is it a blizzard?

12:16 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
We went out today for the first time since Tuesday and it started snowing while we were in town. The drive back at night in the dark was really cool. It was the closest thing to an actual blizzard I have ever seen. Large snow drifts sailing over the road in places, little snow tornadoes here and there, it looked like dark grey smoke dancing on the road in most places. A picture couldn't' have captured it and I doubt video would have gotten it right either, it was really an experience. We have been home since about 9 and Doug had to run back out to the car for something and said the path he made through the 20 something inches we ended with is almost gone from new snow and wind.

 I'm a little worried about the wind since the trees are already so weighed down, but I guess the wind is blowing most the snow out. We do have a generator but it's pretty far from the house and lots of shoveling would be involved to get it here. We heat with propane and electric so we won't absolutely freeze without power and at least the freezers on the porch would stay frozen with the temp under 20 here.

I wish our house was a little more breeze proof though. We have one metal chimney pipe into no where. We did cap that off with 4 layers of Aluminum foil and a large rubber band to hold it in place. We have tried to take it apart and remove it from the inside but it doesn't work that way. It needs to be pulled out from the roof but the pitch is a little too steep and the roof is really too high for that to be safe for one person to do and I'm not getting up there to help so, there it sits. 

There are gaps in the way the roof was made too. I'm not really sure how but if you spray a hose up onto the metal roofing over the bathroom, water will rain down onto the floor. I know they build this house themselves with little help so when we do build an addition, and we will likely do a lot of the work ourselves, I will be in charge of QC. I'm a real stickler and I wouldn't have let gaps in the roof boards just go as good enough. Their solution was to insulate the house off from the bathroom. The consequence of this is the toilet seat gets so cold, you don't really want to sit on it for fear of getting stuck to it. The claw foot bath tub is heavenly, except in the winter when it's a huge ice cube. It's solid cast iron and it's soooo cold. You need to run the hot water for a while before even taking a shower for fear you might brush up against it and go into arctic shock! Really I love how deep it is though.

There is this door built onto the little closet we keep the dust old neglected mop in. It was for passing wood through and they didn't insulate it. We did seal it up with a chunk of insulation but I bet it could have been done better. I considered it a theft danger and we sealed it up for safety not heating reasons so I really can't say how well that was done.

The original owners used older parts when building our house and we have a couple antique single pane windows and every window seems to let in a little breeze. We usually seal the house up with that plastic that you vacuum seal on with double sided tape and a hair dryer. I know, it a little ghetto but it's smart for the gas bill. We didn't get to doing it in time this year. The windows are sweating too much and the wood frames will be too wet for the tape to stick now so it's just too late.

I did make these nifty draft dodgers that are made from a wool blanket rolled up and I used my snap press to put industrial plastic snaps on the roll then nailed some to the door so it snaps in place and can be taken off and unrolled to be washed, not that I have ever done that in my memory, but it's an option. They work great with the exception that they seem to be irresistible to kids and kittens. They love to unsnap them and I am forever putting them back on. On the bright side the older cats and kid don't bother them anymore so it's just a phase we have to get past.

I need to get to making some heavy curtains for the windows. Actually I already made them I need to now figure out how to hang them. I also didn't get the pull mechanism correct. I was planning something like Roman shades but they don't lay how I would like them to. I might just let them hang down at this point, just to save on heat. I really do need to get back to them.

The wind is howling out there and the lights keep flickering. I have unplugged the most surge sensitive items in the house, the UV mercury vapor reptile heating lamps and the front loading washing machine. I have a few buckets of water sitting in the bathtub to manually flush the toilet as needed. All the pets waters have been topped off too. The well pump doesn't work without electricity and our generator isn't wired for 220. I have charged up all I could think to charge laptops, cameras, phones.  I have a flash light handy just in case. I better do the dishes before we lose power and running water. If an outage were to last a few days and they have before, dirty dishes laying around would really irritate me.

I was on the ball today!

11:59 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
The snow was deep this morning! It read 17 inches.

I got so much done today, I'm really proud. I finished all the holiday shopping this morning, although that might be considered last night, it was in the 12:00 am to 11:59 pm range so I'm gonna take it. I bought the birth kit supplies from both sources necessary. I bought a new bed and it's been on the list for a while now. I finished the Frontier order. Really I'm very happy about the birth kit. There were some things in Frontier for the birth such as capsule kits and Bach Remedies. I had a fair amount of research to do to get it all done, figuring out what herbs I needed, what the right cord clamp/cutting supplies we would like to use, looking up fetoscopes and stethoscopes to see if I was buying the right pieces of equipment and if I would know what to do with it all afterwards. Then there was the placenta research. I was tossed between lotus birth and placental encapsulation, and after talking with Doug we decided to go with encapsulation.

I followed up with the company I plan to order Robin's Booster seat from. He will be moving to a Britax Regent sometime after the baby is born. Robin is almost 35lb, the rear-facing weight limit for his seat. I have two weeks to purchase the Regent at the sale price. If anyone is looking to buy a Britax seat soon, Albeebaby.com has them on sale right now. I have bought car seats from them before, two actually, and the customer service is great, I call and ask silly questions like how fresh are the seats (meaning what date were they made) and they never give me trouble, they just answer the question as if I'm not really neurotic for wondering. They ship fast too.

Now I just need to decide if we are buying more diapers or going with what we have and if we are getting a baby hammock for downstairs or not. They are spendy but I really would like a safe from siblings place to set the baby to cook. I'm not comfortable cooking holding an infant and things can get rough in here sometimes. I think hanging the baby from the ceiling may be my safest bet!

I still have not made those cookies I keep trying to get to though. Maybe tomorrow!

The Coffee Bean Incident

1:44 PM Edit This
While I was getting breakfast ready today, Dallas wanted to eat an orange while he waited and Robin wanted to play with his animal toys. He was getting hungry but wouldn't come to his chair to eat. I didn't realize how hungry he was. Somewhere between the living room floor and his high chair he ate something off the ground. He starts whining to me "Mama, Mama! I ate a bad raisin!" I'm in the kitchen and don't see him for a second what runs through my head is all the animals we have and who knows what gross thing he might have in his mouth! When I get to him with a towel in hand he slightly chunky black looking fluid gushing out of his mouth. He smells like coffee. Oh crap, he's going to be walking on the ceiling! I tried not to laugh and certainly didn't mention that people actually eat these beans willingly. I wiped his mouth out, got him so water to spit out in the bathroom and then we brushed his teeth really well together. He his tummy started hurting, but I can't imagine he could have swallowed much, so I suggested breakfast to get something in his tummy. He thanked me for taking care of him and we sat down to eat. I offered him some real raisins to eat too and he said "Thank you, these are much better." How cute!

Naming a baby

10:10 PM Edit This
I didn't have any troubles naming our first two children. I rarely have troubles naming pets either. We have and have had lots of pets to name. It was said to me more than once that I was going to run out of names before I had kids. I really don't think that's true. Each pet's name fits them perfectly and I don't see how I could have named them anything differently. Well maybe the last three kittens were not the pest choice. They are named after a black and white Japanese dubbed TV show I watched as a kid named Space Giants. There where three characters, Goldar (father robot), Silvar (mother robot) and Gamma Ray (cloned shape shifting child/rocket). There was also a little boy, I think his name was Johnny but I'm not sure. I already have a cat named Johnny. The show was quite cheesy. The bag guys turned into puddles of ink when they were shot. I was 5 at the time and didn't want to go to advanced kindergarten because I didn't want to miss the show. I still can't believe my mom left that choice up to me, seriously there had to be more to it than that, anyway this isn't the track I was going for. We named the cats that because Robin wanted to name the grayish girl Silver and the fire point Siamese one looked like he didn't mind being Goldar so the grey tabby became the name sake of my imaginary friend Gamma Ray. Yes I had an imaginary friend. In kindergarten I got very upset if someone sat on him in the empty desk next to mine. I think I have already written about this before.... any way back to names. Naming a child is a big responsibility and I don't want to screw it up.

First off sorry if I'm repeating myself, I can't remember what I have written down and what I don't.

Robin's name just came to us. Both of us. At the same time. You just can't deny that type of thing. We were at Doug's company Christmas party, I was somewhere at the end of my fourth month of pregnancy and we didn't know the gender yet. We had been talking about names on and off for a while but nothing seemed memorable. We were standing around or mingling I suppose, and there was an announcement for this lady who was to run the gift exchange. Doug was new to the company and didn't know many people's names yet. When she was introduced, oddly Doug and I both heard the man introduce Robin. We turned to each other in a way that would make a youth yell jinx and we both said "Robin, that's a good name!"

We thought it was perfect, it would work well for a girl or a boy. It had a good meaning: famed, bright, shining. A week later he had some business with the woman who we thought was introduced as Robin. Her name was Harmony. It didn't even sound like Robin. There was no Robin in the company, no one knew of a spouse named Robin, the name had truly appeared to us from thin air. We say Robin named himself.

I'm not sure exactly how we first came to the name Dallas. My great grandfather's name was Dallas. I hear I met him, my aunt has a picture of it but I was way to young to remember. I have this very noble picture of him, black and white, sitting in this ornate chair with his wife Ophrah standing at his side. He looked like a king, or at least a very very rich man. He also looked kind. My dad didn't talk about him much. Dad didn't really talk about his family too much at all but when he did I soaked it up. I had always liked the name Dallas and I asked Doug if he did to. He did and actually it's also a name that could go for a girl or a boy so we decided to go with it. Although the name Dallas has a longer duration or popularity as a male name, it hit it's most popular point as a female name. It still didn't hit very high and we like that. We don't want to name our children odd names with ghetto spellings or made up names that only a celebrity could get away with, while still being laughed at of course.

This time we are not sure. We learned with Robin that people will say the worst things when they think they still have the power to change your mind. My family was the worst. That's no big surprise though. My mother pointed out that we had a neighbor with the name Robin and she was pretty sure that my dad had slept with her. My sister said "I'll just call him the boy wonder then" My mom went on to tell me it was a hooker name. She really didn't like it.

This time I have told two people the proposed name, the name we liked. One person said well, you have to think about what the kids at school might say. Actually that's what they both said in a way, after laughing at me about it. Well my legal name is as plain as Jane (although it's not Jane) My name ranked #1 in several states the year I was born. It was in the top 5 for the entire country. I still got teased. I was teased about my last name since I shared it with a beer maker "She was made the American way" kids would say. Now that might seen rather obvious or benign but teasing is teasing and at the time it was offensive to me. My initials were a teasing point too. MM or M&M, "do you melt in the mouth?!?" boys would say to me in 6th grade. I don't know if they really understood what that could really mean either but again embarrassing. I went by a nickname most of my life and had to hear from every "adult" who learned my name "Play Misty for me!" I have to admit, I still don't fully understand what that means, all I know is it has something to do with a famous old movie. Another one I got a lot was "Oh I had/have/know someone who has a dog/cat/gerbil named Misty!" I might have well been named spot.

Doug told me he was constantly teased for his name too. He didn't go into detail. His mother named him purely on the basis that his initials could not form any word or acronym. He really dislikes his middle name since it's without meaning and pointless. All my kids will have my maiden name for their middle name.

My kids won't be going to public grade school so hopefully they won't be teased. Frankly most of the kids names these days are more teasable than my kids are anyway. Every year the local paper has a cutest baby contest. I admit, I read it to crack up that people would actually name real kids some of the names they do. I know my kids have nothing to worry about. At least so far and in this area.

We know the name, I know we do. We will just have to wait until the baby comes to be sure. This one doesn't speak as loudly as Robin or Dallas yet. I ask what they think and they are just too easy going and seem to say "what ever you like" I need to see this one to know for sure. We are almost there but this is the one thing that seems to be making me feel the most unprepared. All I can do it call it Freckle Baby for now. Robin came up with that nickname because babies start out as small as a freckle he says. He's so smart. I have explained that the baby will need a real name when it comes out and he says he knows, but the baby will always be my freckle baby just like he will always be my munchkin and Dallas my sprout.

The joy of soy...not!

8:56 PM Edit This
Today has been hard. It could have been a lot harder. Thankfully Doug was here and he let me stay up in bed all day. I ache all over and have such bad heartburn but it's so much worse than heartburn, I keep suddenly and without warning throwing up a little in my mouth. That is so gross. I have the brita pitcher next to me and have drank two of them down and I'm half way through my third pitcher. It's like by body wishes to wash the soy away.

Robin had wheat for dinner last night. He has some potstickers and didn't get his enzymes down well. That combined with the soy he has had a very trying and grumpy day. Doug hasn't been feeling good either, he just feels like sitting around. Robin said "we ate soy and out tummies have headaches and now we don't want to clean up" That pretty much sums it up.

Today was another adventure

11:40 PM Edit This
It was the kind of day where nothing really goes as planned. I needed to be at the Azure drop point at 8:30am. The night before I wasn't able to sleep until 4am and Doug started calling to wake me up at 6:30 so I only had 2.5 hrs of sleep. That makes things move slower. I wasn't able to get out of bed right away, in fact I tried to get up but didn't get there until 7:30. I had to pack the diaper bag and get clothes for the kids, generally get ready to go. I was on track to leave the house on time with a few minutes to spare. I knew I had to make three trips back and forth to get everything and everyone where they needed to be so I started my journey carrying a sleeping Dallas to the car in his jammies wrapped in a blanket. The night before I had not taken my Cal-Mag that I need every night to prevent leg cramps and apparently it does more for me than I though. I started having stop you dead in your tracks contractions while carrying Dallas to the car. All I could do to press on, because it was also damn cold and I forgot my coat in my haste, was count the steps to the van. There are 70 to get Dallas in the van. I headed back to get the cooler and bags. 21 lb must be my carrying limit because it happened again, I had to go slow but this time I could hunch over a little. On the way back I realized I dropped my hands free device somewhere in the mud along the way during the first trip so had to walk back and forth searching. I found it. I think I was just getting tired at this point, I had to go back up stairs and get Robin. I was able to carry him down the stairs and I knew I couldn't make it to the car with him so I begged him to walk on his own. He started to fuss about it and I resorted to something I have never done before...I bribed him. I told him we would get him a cookie at the co-op later if he could just hold my hand instead. The second that came out of my mouth I felt like I was the worst person in the world. I was manipulating my child with food no less. How shitty is that. What kind of weird food complex was I going to be giving the poor kid, he's not a dog! Well I had to get over it, at least he was walking to the car with me. Ok in the car and driving to the drop point. I"m late at this point, late and exhausted. I make it to Francis road going no faster than the posted speed limit due to other cars in my way and traffic comes to a halt. A double wide mobile home is being moved and we are waiting for it to get out of the way, or something. By the time we get moving again there is 2 minutes to make a 20 min trip. I know that Amy will be at the drop point so all my food won't be sitting on the sidewalk alone but still I would rather be there. Clearly I didn't make it but Amy loaded my van for me, thank fully! I'm so grateful!!

We make plans to go for a play date and Amy's house next but I remembered that I need to pick up a car seat off Craigslist in Alger for the baby. I head out to the bank, pick up the car seat from a wonderful mama who I had a nice chat with then back to Amy's so Robin can play and Dallas can eat.

Amy made these wonderful Gluten free bar cookies for me, I can't remember what they were called but they were just heavenly. We chatted, the kids played and I waited to hear from Doug. His company had some lay-offs yesterday and there was some sort of meeting he needed to go to that would be related. I tried to wait patiently and I was very glad to be with Amy or I would have been a nervous wreck. The meeting started at 10 and I didn't freak out until just after to noon. I left a text message first, then an email to his work address, then finally I gave in and called leaving a voice mail. He didn't respond until 1:45. When he called it was of course when I finally had chased down Dallas to change his poopy diaper under his strong protests. I needed help holding his legs even and could not answer the phone. In short his position is still secure but I don't know how I feel about a company doing any lay offs. Every time they start they don't seem to stop. We have been through this before and every time he tells me, this situation is different and this time he's in a good position. I guess maybe it bothers me so much because it's not even my loop to be in but effects my life so much, what happens at Doug's work.I feel completely helpless and out of control in the matter.

The play date was over and Robin didn't want to leave. He had to be carried to the car and not by me, there would have been much more tantruming then there was and he actually had gotten down on the floor kicking and screaming he wanted to stay longer. He usually doesn't do that but actually I am proud he handled it that way. Clearly he felt very strongly that he was having a good time and he didn't want it to end and he let that out without hurting himself or me (that's often the case, I get hurt) The next plan was to go to the co-op for lunch.

The parking lot at the co-op was full and I had to circle twice to find a spot. Dallas had fallen asleep. I tried to reason with Robin that we should just have taco truck and drive on but he was instant that we go to the co-op. It was packed in there, I could see from our parking spot. He said he didn't want to eat anything he wanted to shop. I could tell he was just as tired as Dallas was and knew that he wouldn't be listening to me while in the store and I really didn't have the energy to try so I put my foot down and said no and we drove away. He was asleep before we hit the freeway. The plan now was to drive to Seattle and meet Doug to go to the aquarium. I started feeling sleepy and by Everett I knew I couldn't make it any further and probably should have been off the road already. I parked at the transit station and sent Doug a text that I couldn't make it but would pick him up from the train. I slept for about an hour in the drivers seat. When I woke up in pain again, I tried to move to the passenger seat but that woke up Robin and he needed to use a toilet. We all bundled up and went inside. Over the next hour we walked back and forth to where the train comes 3 times, ate a banana and the left over rice cake from Amy's house and watched two short movies on my phone. Finally the right train came. Funny thing, Santa got off the train before we found Papa. Santa didn't say anything to the kids but waved and Robin hid behind me and Dallas got all bright eyed and pointed saying that..that..that! We met up with Papa and he carried Dallas. We watched a freight train go by then left for the car while Santa was still waiting for his bus.

The kids were hungry having missed lunch so we were going to go to this bbq rib place we have eaten at before. They were closed. I should have see that coming. We decided to try some place new. I'm so sick of Mexican right now we went for chinese. We found a place while still in Everett and it didn't look bad but the food was horrible. Everything tasted of soy to me. I had an enzyme but couldn't eat it. They did have beautiful garnishing though and I would give them an A for presentation. SOmehow even the fortune cookie tasted bad. Anyway I was again thankful for Amy's gluten free treats as that's what I ate when I got back to the car.

The kids slept on the way back home. Doug and I talked the whole time. It was good, I feel a little better about the work situation now. I think Doug feels a lot better about his situation too. We have a plan for the future. Again, I'm not in control of it so it still scares me but I have to let go of what I can't control and let it flow right?

Here's what didn't get done today that was planned to be done and the trade off:
Meet the Azure driver for drop - Amy helped me load the van instead and a play date was set
Swim at the health club - play date at Amy's
Lunch at the co-op - kids napped in the car so I grabbed a Arby's
Aquarium trip - Saw trains, strange people and learned that Santa takes public transportation
pot stickers and humbow in Seattle - crappy chinese I couldn't stomach but had cookies for dinner instead
make cookies at home (had been the plan all day be we got home too late)- fed the kids and husband coconut icecream and sent them off to bed so I could sit here and type out my day.

I think it all turned out ok in the end. It was a full day at worst but we did have a lot of fun. Oh I got some decorating done too. I washed some windows and mirrors and put up some gel decorations. I also sorted through all the paper stacks I could find for shredding and recycle. Now I'm off to bed. It's not even 1 am yet, this is another accomplishment for me. Now only if the dishes could wash themselves while I sleep.....

Remembering the little things

11:33 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
I can never remember my blood type. Why is that? Is this something other people remember? I had to call my mother to ask and the answer is A+. Now it will be published ot the grand world wide web and will never be forgotten. I can't remember all sorts of things, like my shoe size. Maybe I don't buy shoes often enough to remember this. After wearing Birkenstocks almost exclusively for nearly 8 yrs (are you really surprised by that?) I finally now remember that my size is 38R. I have to look at the tag on my bra to know that size and check in my Keens to see what they are, somewhere between a 7.5 and an 8.5 but I know for sure that a 7.5 in Kalso Earth is too small (I have bought two pairs form eBay expecting they would fit but they didn't.

My kids, I can remember what size they are. I also know what size pants and shoes Doug wears but can never remember the dress shirt sizes. As far as clothes go for me, I would rather not know right now but luckily most maternity clothing is in S-M-L and I can wear some of all depending on the item so it really doesn't matter it all needs trying on. I hate shopping for clothes. It seems apparent that I don't shop for shoes often either or I would know my size.

What else don't I remember.....I guess I forgot, lol.

I have a really hard time remember birthdays, even those I have been at. I find myself reciting the date after I give birth for fear I will forget when they were born. I have a really hard time remembering peoples names. I need a name tag for myself to wear to all functions that says "My name in Misty, I forgot yours already." It's true, I likely have. Now if you have a cat or dog that I have met there is a high chance I will remember your pet's name. I really don't know why isn't that so backwards?

This problem I have remembering got so much worse after my second car accident, the one with where the drunk driver hit us from behind and totaled the Tracker. I actually went to a specialist and was tested for memory loss and I passed well above average. I guess the guy asked the wrong questions or maybe I can only remember the really unimportant things like which was first and last in the line up of pictures he had. The specialist said it was clear I must have had some loss but I was still above most people so they couldn't help me and I probably had an amazing memory before hand, as if reminiscing about what I had lost would some how make it better. I guess it did, he acknowledged that I did have the ability to remember more at one time then I do now. I guess what "most people" can remember needs to be taken into consideration too. While working at Premera most of our materials for the general public couldn't be written above a 4 grade level, some item even lower than that.

I miss my ability to articulate what's in my head most of all. It goes back to remembering too. I might have a word in mind but fear I'm getting it crossed with another so often don't bother saying anything for fear of sounding stupid. I guess if I look above I would realize that I wouldn't sound stupid to miss use a word, I'd just be part of "most people" or "general public".

You might be wondering happened to the guy who rammed into us and what we got for our pain and suffering aside from months of physical therapy. Well the drunk guy who hit us drove home and he was a white male in his 40's and didn't even get a ticket even though he was drinking and left the scene before the police arrived. The 4 door hard toped Tracker was crushed up like an accordion. At the time all I could think was thank god we hadn't had kids in the back seat. The spare tire that is on the rear door was jammed in between the driver and passenger seats. The drunk was pulling out of a bar and accelerated into us as we were stopped at a read light. There were three separate jolts, the impact, the bumper giving and the back seat crushing. Really for the impact and the damage the car took it pretty well and we could have been hurt a lot worse. Doug permanently impacted his shoulders (he was driving) and still has problems to this day. We did not own the car and when the insurance company informed the bank the car had been totaled they demanded payment in full immediately so Doug had to settle to gain the difference from what the insurance company paid for the car (well under blue book) and what the loan amount was. My head hit the dash or window, I'm not really sure which. I had whiplash pretty bad and hurt my lower back too. I was given $5000.

So what did my memory get traded for? I bought a 3/4 ton pick-up that's out in the drive way. It's nothing nice. I don't even drive it myself. It gets hay to our house once or twice a year and Doug takes garbage to the transfer station with it. It has too many miles on it, the paint is peeling in places and it has strange patches of moss growing on it. The driver side door hinge is bent so I have to climb through the passengers side to drive it. I call that truck my memory. I lost my memory in that accident and all I have to show for it is this run down Silverado. Yep, life is strange. I take picture now, it helps as long as I don't need to know your name ;-)

Dallas' first potty

3:03 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Dallas used the potty for the first time today. He made a poop on the toilet and was very proud. Robin was quite proud of him too. Robin was much easier, he usually grunted before pooping and would come and tell you he had to go so you could get him on the baby toilet in time. Dallas however, rarely gives any sign except for running from you if he has in fact already pooped. He has always screamed if you set him on the little baby toilet, the nice wooden child's toilet or the seat that sits on the toilet. Every night though, he tries to stand on a stool and potty with his father and brother before bed but has not been successful yet. He tries but can't find the right muscles to make it happen. I think today he was most proud that he was able to make potty in the toilet.